I saw this quote by Tony Robbins, which reminded me about how true it was.
Have you ever felt like you’re constantly caught up in a never-ending cycle of pain and suffering?
That was how it felt when I left The Royal Singapore. I was left with a deep feeling of loss and betrayal. I had poured my heart and soul into that role, and in return, I felt like I had been taken advantage of and my abilities as a leader were called into question.
It was painful, and at first, I was consumed by my suffering. I couldn’t eat or sleep, and my mind was constantly racing with thoughts of what I could have done differently. But then, along with the thoughts was a reminder that pain is part of life, but suffering is an option.
I realized that the pain I was feeling was a natural part of life. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or disappointed when something doesn’t go the way we planned. But suffering is different. Suffering is the story we tell ourselves about the pain we’re feeling. It’s the constant replaying of the same negative thoughts and emotions over and over again.
I can decide to stay in that state of suffering, but I made the choice not to.
I decided to take action and focus on what I could control. I started to look for new job opportunities and worked on rebuilding my confidence. It wasn’t easy, but I knew that I had to keep moving forward.
Looking back, I’m glad that I didn’t let my pain turn into suffering. I “surrendered” to the pain and then took steps to move past it. It’s a lesson that I carry with me to this day. Pain is a natural part of life, but suffering is optional.
We have the power to choose how we respond to the challenges that come our way. However, I would like to remind you that I found that it was not helpful to blame our previous selves for suffering either. It was a part of our journey to learn more about ourselves. By saying we “can choose” not to suffer, we should also remember and understand that our previous selves didn’t really have a choice back then.