Category: AHAS

The feeling you get when something hits you as very meaningful.
The moment when you connect the dots and derived at some,
unexpected conclusion.
The moment you go, “Aha… now why didn’t I think about that?”

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The Hidden Value of 2 Dollars

“It’s only 2 dollars right?”

I had the chance to share about trust with Lockeman recently, and it took me stopping my own instinct to helicopter in to save him from his mistakes.

My son had his art class in Bukit Timah. I was going off for a meeting, and told him I might not be able to pick him up after class, so he had to take the bus back himself if so. Before dropping him off, I was worried he would forget his wallet, but because there were cars waiting behind me where I dropped him off, I couldn’t remind him to check in time.

True enough, 2 hours in, he called me in the middle of my meeting to tell me he forgot his wallet. “No bus pass, no money, how?” Initially, I considered leaving the meeting to rescue him, but then I paused. Singapore is generally quite safe, and he was in a neighborhood I am familiar with, so I just said, “Figure it out.”

Was I worried? Of course. But he got home safely, I found out later, so I carried on with the meeting. When I came home later that day, he shared with me how he managed to get home. He had borrowed 2 dollars from the uncle at the nearby coffee shop. I asked him what the value of 2 dollars was.

“Har? 2 dollars lor.”

I explained to him that the value of those 2 dollars went beyond its monetary worth. It symbolized trust. The uncle at the coffee shop had observed my sons week after week. Based on their consistent behavior, he knew they were good boys. They were also regular customers, we bought drinks from him weekly, so there was reliability and integrity in the consistency.

So, I told Lockeman that our actions and interactions with others mattered. It is the cause and effect relationship with the world around us. While there might not be a magical accountant guy keeping score, marking in green when you do a good deed, and a red cross if you do something bad, society has its own memory.

Being good and doing good has a way of making an impact. It creates a ripple effect that people notice. The world somehow recognizes those who embody kindness, consistency, and honorable values. In the case of the uncle, his level of trust had reached a point where he was willing to lend those 2 dollars.

Now, would he have lent 100 dollars? Probably not. Maybe 10 dollars, depending on the circumstances. If I had been a regular customer who regularly catered food from him amounting to 1000s of dollars every month, perhaps even 100 dollars would be possible. It all boils down to trust, built over time through our actions and choices.

This realization made me convey an important message to my son. Our daily actions have significance beyond what meets the eye. Whether it’s a small gesture or a larger decision, they shape the world around us. Some might attribute this concept to karma or a higher power, and various faiths offer their perspectives. But regardless of our beliefs, our actions have consequences. They contribute to a collective memory in society. By being kind, honest, and consistent, we create a positive impact that resonates far beyond our immediate awareness. The world has a peculiar way of taking care of us when we find ourselves in need.

#Fatherhood#lifelessons#value#values#karma

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Destination – Poem about life

In the bustle of city Singapore,
I sit in my corner, feeling forlorn,
History leaves a rustle long gone,
in place are places and people mourned.

Now the hustle never seems to cease,
A constant hum that never gives peace,
I hold still, on to beauty that passed,
on to joyful quiet it once brought last.

The world, the hustle, the life goes on,
still my heart remains in days long gone,
As I sit here in this busy city,
I hold on tight to my fading memories.

– Destination, by Why Keen

This poem was inspired by something I read on Facebook by Michael Han.

He was referencing an article he read, and this was what he wrote :-

What is the foundation of a good life, money? Enough of it to live a good life? In abundance of it to live an even better life? Or, maybe it’s just an insurance for a rainy day? Because perpetual poverty can crush souls and break up families.

Surely, you can be poor and be happy, but no harm being wealthy and happy, right? Better still, be rich, happy and surrounded by life-affirming relationship. Maybe you can’t have it all, but I trust if you have life-affirming relationships, you are always rich and happy. Definitions may vary, but contentment is its defining mark. It’s the common thread that runs thru it all.

Today’s article is however about loneliness. Yet, they are all connected. It’s titled “Old and lovely after a successful career, and even when living with family.” Curious?

Well, Mr Liu’s life is featured. He retired at 76. He “took great pride in providing a comfortable life for his wife and two sons. But he said life did not turn out the way he wanted.”

“His son was failing at work and his one relationship with his wife was strained. Unable to connect with his family members, Mr Liu became extremely lonely. He blames his younger self for prioritising work and not building a good relationship with his wife and children.”

I think it’s more complicated than what is described. The journey of a life allows for many u-turns and detours and ventures into our own dark woods. We are often lost for a purpose, even if we have not figure it all out yet.

I can’t comment much on Mr Liu’s life because he lived it in a way he knows best at the time where threats and opportunities avail themselves. He made his bed with those choices and he has to sleep on it. But having said that, one can still get a new bed, regardless of age; maybe not one so large and grand that it is often colder and quieter than it’s hoped to be.

Nevertheless, he has got a point for self-introspection when he blamed his younger self for prioritising work and not building a good relationship. I guess when we are young, we chase the wind and rush towards the shimmering mirage. It’s the thrill of the chase, ambition uncaged.

We thought we have it all covered. It’s all neatly planned out. We were so sure we were on track. We were also so busy in the sinking ditches, fighting for survival – before battling with our ego and pride – that we didn’t have the time to look up to the light of a better life when we retire.

Yet time waits for no man or woman. When we are old, we look back and mourn for lost time, for seasons that could have been spent less on chasing the wind and more on farming the land.

Alas, Aristotle once said: “The life of money-making is one undertaken under compulsion, and wealth is evidently not the good we are seeking; for it is merely useful and for the sake of something else.”

And the issue is, when you are in it, especially when you just started out, you can’t see clearly. It’s like being masked with narrow slits for eyes and you can only see but a slice of reality. We are very much like horses with blinders at both sides, only hearing the chanting of the crowd to finish first, to beat the rest.

The thrill of the chase, the rush and the climb is not always what we imagine it to be. When we arrive at the top, it may just be a place far lonelier than we can imagine. A place all the money in the world cannot console or reassure.

Going back to the article, the authors concluded with this: “Tackling loneliness is fundamentally a question about what makes our life worth living to ourselves and others, and whether we can create opportunities to build our own interests throughout our lives.”

But I believe these interests we build for ourselves have to be one that we readily share with others, keeping them in mind, and always deepening the connection as we journey along. That is what Aristotle means when he said that “wealth is evidently not the good we are seeking; for it is merely useful and for the sake of something else.”

This also include the acquisition of power and fame. For if they are not instrumental to something else, but an end in itself, we will always struggle to reconcile what has been with what is. It’s lonely at the top.

Let me end with the words of the late Professor David Foster Wallace. He described the Western modern culture as such: –

“Extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom to be lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdom, alone at the center of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it.”

“But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talked about in the great outside world of winning and achieving and displaying.”

“The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day.”

Read that again. Let it sink in. You may just find your point of infection in your currently planned trajectory of life, whichever season you are in. Cheers.

Reference :- Original post by Michael Han on Facebook

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7th Heaven – Another 3 Word Game Story

Here was another story we came up with, with the help of ChatGPT as my editor. The 3 words were “Heaven” for the place, “Michelin Star Chef” for the person, and “Water Bottle” for the thing.

Let’s see what my own organic generative intelligence came up with.

Chef Julien is the proud owner of seven restaurants, each with a Michelin star for their exceptional fusion cuisine. Among his culinary delights, Chef Julien is famous for his delectable char siew that features a perfect blend of texture, taste, and aroma, making it the most coveted dish in the world. Despite the accolades and envy from other chefs, Chef Julien keeps the secret recipe to himself, even from his trusted team of assistant chefs.

However, one chef, Kong Wah Zai, an ambitious and upcoming chef, is determined to learn the secrets of Chef Julien’s char siew. Disguising himself as a fresh culinary school graduate with his youthful looks, Wah Zai successfully infiltrates Chef Julien’s flagship restaurant, 7th Heaven, and works diligently for seven months before gaining access to the inner sanctum of the kitchen.

Inside the inner sanctum, Wah Zai observes Chef Julien’s nightly routine of bringing a water bottle into a small furnace kitchen at midnight, only to emerge at 7 am with freshly cooked char siew that is then distributed to the other restaurants in the chain. The chef guards the water bottle closely, never allowing it out of his sight, which makes Wah Zai suspect that the key to the recipe might lie within the bottle.

After an elaborate scheme, Wah Zai manages to steal the water bottle and takes it back to his own kitchen to experiment with the contents. The bottle contains a special sauce that Wah Zai uses to coat his own char siew, following the same process as Chef Julien, and patiently waiting seven hours for the meat to be done. Wah Zai is confident that his version of the char siew will be exceptional.

However, Chef Julien’s reaction to losing his water bottle surprises Wah Zai. During a meeting with his team, the chef suddenly cries out, “Has anyone seen my bottle? It’s my piss from last night!”

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Social Media The Amplifier

Social media is a powerful amplifier of the human mind.

Human problems, such as selfishness, hatred, lust, greed, and laziness are amplified. We see this in an increased amount of depression being reported. We see this in research which shows social media correlating to increased feelings of depression among its users and another study that connects increased screen time among teenagers with a higher risk of depression and suicide.

Social media has also magnified positive traits like generosity and kindness.

This is because social media algorithms, whether you are talking about Facebook, TikTok or Youtube, are designed to maximize human engagement and consumption.

As a result, social media can be both a force for positive change and a source of negativity.

What is the difference? Mental fitness and wisdom. If individuals are emotionally stable, mentally sound, and self-aware, they are less likely to be negatively impacted by social media. Conversely, those who struggle with mental health issues, or are unaware of the impact of social media on their mental well-being, are more vulnerable to negative effects.

Social media is one of our first encounters with an artificial intelligence (AI) at scale, and it has already had a significant impact on the human mind.

The next generation of AI, such as generative AIs like ChatGPT, have the potential to amplify the human mind even further. Therefore, mental health and fitness are more important than ever, as we continue to navigate the complex and evolving landscape of technology and its impact on our lives.

As a parent, I am consciously weighing my options as we move into this new world. I have friends who try to put off exposure of their children to social media as long as possible, by limiting their usage of the Internet. This is possible because their children are home-schooled.

For me, that isn’t really an option, but it is also not an appealing one to me. I try to control exposure, and guide them to the realities of these technologies while teaching them how to be mindful of their mental being.

It is tantamount to giving my kids drugs in order for them to experience addiction, so that they can manage their minds better. Much like how vaccinations work, we have to expose their minds to inoculate them from harmful effects.

Sounds scary? I am not exaggerating when I describe social media now, and the GPTs that are arriving as drugs, I really am concerned. But what can I do, when this drug is going to be a part of the new reality we are moving into?

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3 Word Game With My Kids – ChatGPT powered

It was late at night, and my kids found it difficult to sleep. I was taking improv lessons (at The Improv Company!) so I thought, why not create something for them to challenge myself?

The game was simple – my kids would give me three words, one thing, one place, and one person, and I would come up with a totally original story using those words on the spot. The game allowed for endless possibilities and creativity, making each bedtime story a bit more unique and exciting (for me, because it was quite stressful! But the story was sometimes exciting, but sometimes fizzled to a disappointing end. Sometimes, it was so beautiful that I am shocked with what I managed to come up with.)

Today, Feynman came to ask me if I could do one for him on the spot. I said, “Why not?” but also realised that I was doing something similar to what ChatGPT is doing, forming something with concepts I know to come up with something original. As I was putting everything together, I felt a bit of pride at coming up with something original. It was something that I thought was beautiful.

So here it is!

Of course, I typed it out after I was done with my ‘generation’, and got ChatGPT to flesh out the rest of the details. The words were “a cute cat”, “with “a powerful crystal” and “a volcano” Want to try? What would you come up with?

“Mr. Cottonsworth! Oh Mr. Cottonsworth!” The old lady’s voice echoed through the narrow corridors of her HDB apartment. She shuffled through the cluttered living room, calling out for her beloved pet, but he was nowhere to be found. Little did she know, the grey feline had been waiting for this moment for years – an escape from the mundane life of a domestic cat.

As BBK, or Bad Bad Kitty, slipped out of the apartment, memories flooded his mind. He wasn’t always a house cat; in fact, he was over 3000 years old, hailing from an ancient tribe of cats with magical abilities. BBK had been one of the council members tasked with guarding the powerful crystals that granted them their powers, until the fateful day when the tribe decided to destroy them. The crystals, while providing immense power, had corrupted the tribe with their greed.

BBK’s crystal was the one that gave him infinite lives, and as the other crystals were thrown into the boiling volcano of Timbuktu, he succumbed to their evil influence and jumped into the fiery pit, activating his crystal in mid-air. For 100 years, he died and came back to life repeatedly, until he emerged from the volcano, the only survivor. His family and friends were long gone, and he was left to wander the world, watching as civilizations rose and fell, and time marched on.

For 3000 years, BBK had seen everything there was to see, and yet he couldn’t shake the loneliness that gnawed at his soul. So he embarked on a dangerous journey, trekking from Singapore to Timbuktu, hopping on planes, trains, and buses, and hiding in the shadows. Finally, he arrived at the top of the volcano, where he spotted the other half of the crystal lying at the bottom, its power still intact.

Without a moment’s hesitation, BBK leapt into the molten lava, and as he held the crystal halves together, the power surged through him, one last time. The heat was unbearable, and his body was consumed by the fiery inferno, but he didn’t care. He was finally at peace, reunited with his family and friends in the afterlife.